Anxiety makes you think you are not capable of doing what you are actually capable of.
I’m a wallflower. I notice things. Just because I keep quiet about it doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on.
Some days, I get so fired up that believe I can be whoever I set myself to be. But some days, I just lie in bed, shaking with anxiety, over thinking the little steps I need to take to pursue my dreams. It’s scary. One moment I am fearless, the next I am gutless I can’t even speak or get out of bed.
People think mental disorders like depression are not real. They think we can control our emotions and block out all our ‘bad’ feelings that are making us feel worthless. But it is not that easy for us. We are said to have been manufactured with poor coping skills. I am not saying we should be self-absorbed about our condition but people need to be aware that we do not fake our meltdowns. We do not necessarily know why we break down. We just do. So we are sorry that we sometimes bail out last minute on plans just because we are in the midst of an episode of we-do-not-know-why-we-are-crying. Depressive episodes are like electricity. We sense it coming but we cannot stop them. And when it charges at us, we become ‘fried’. People just need to know that we certainly do not choose to undergo these episodes. Sometimes, we just fail to cope with our emotions and life.
Two people should be allowed to like one another without getting attached to each other.
Take a breather. Date yourself. Treat yourself with tons of ice creams and chocolates. Roam the city alone and photograph everything you think you can fall in love with. Fall in love with art. Fall in love with yourself.
Happy Valentine’s Day.